Only a touch of frustration

So, you know that thing when you write a long reflective piece, give it a few edits, start to really like it, and then your computer decides the battery is dead? Yeah, that happened with the first version of this post. But I'm not that annoyed. My front yard smells like a campfire, my kitchen is full of leftovers, and nobody lit themselves on fire last night (at least not at my house). All of this speaks of a very successful solstice and puts me in quite a holiday spirit.

Our first home visit was kind of funny. Both our family specialist and E. were very nervous. I can understand Len's nervousness- I was there all talkie-McTalking and she was probably terrified I'd say the very wrong thing and our house was in a bit of disrepair. But why was the caseworker so nervous? She always seems a little anxious around us. No, I don't think it has anything to do with our "family structure" or any prejudice on her part. I think that most of her caseload is families that only speak spanish. During this visit, she kept saying "I've been speaking Spanish all day." Switching languages can be unsettling. I have wondered if she was given our case because of our last names, just like why I never get credit card offers is English and why telemarketers are so confused when Len tells them she doesn't speak spanish. The family specialist is perfectly competent in English so may that's not why she's antsy around us . . . I will continue to observe and let you know when I reach a more final conclusion.

Anyway, the poor thing had been meeting with families all day and we were scheduled for the afternoon. Unfortunately, her arrival coincided with the ruckus that is school dismissal. One of my favorite things about our house is that we live right across from a big highschool. Twice a day the whole world of hoodies, hairdos, and pumped up stereos descends onto our street. I love the laughter, yelling, honking, and music. I really love getting to see the "fashions." But, for someone trying to physically get to our house via car- that is the worst time of day. And of course we had all the windows and doors open and the sound leaked into the house. She kept looking around her, a little like a kitten experiencing simultaneous fear and curiousness.

She walked us through tons of paperwork and then walked through our house.

The house walk through was a little embarrassing, but motivated me toward my "January= conquer the house" goal. So really, not a big deal.

The paperwork however, is the same obbs and gobbs of paperwork we filled out before, but this time with some new and frustrating gramatical ambiguities. Overall filling out the whole packet is quite a production in our house. I'm not so good with writing things in little boxes, I get numbers confused, I write the wrong letters in the wrong places, I have a very hard time reading and understanding the directions- Len has to reread and double check every paper I do. Its a bunch of blah.

But not so bad. What's really bad is the questions.

Here, you give it a try.

FUN BLOG QUIZ FOR YOU!
"As a child, did you get along well with them?"
(nope, you don't get to know who "them" is?)

"What rules cannot be broken in your house?"
(ummm . . . yeah think about it for a moment. Len said "gravity?")

"How are foster care and adoption different?"
(this one appeared to be a pop quiz thrown in the middle of listing who you lived with from age 2 and 8 months until 4 and 7 months)


"What are your concerns?"
(ok, if you're an anxious type like me, this is a very broad question and the answer involves koala bears crossing the highway and how long walnut mushroom bisque lasts in the fridge. There is no way my answer fits on the two lines provided.)

Home Interview #1 The Second Time Around

So, the agency didn't meet to review our case until . . actually I don't remember the chain of events. But, I do remember getting a call at work last week. i was in the middle of a full case review and was trying to facilitate positive strategy building among 7 people who don't feel so positive about each other and at that moment weren't feeling so positive about the clients. All this to say, I was quite happy to hop up and take the call.

Our case worker (who may not stay our case worker, the agency does this weird switchy thing after your case is rolling, I haven't been able to figure out the rhyme and reason), was on the other end, all quiet and timid like she is. She said- "I just wanted to let you and Elena know we've decided to move forward with your case." (See! There's that phrase again!) She's said it too quiet and too not-excited. I was excited.

Now I'm excited to finish up with my work day and meetings and dumb commute home (I have an afternoon meeting that makes my trip home all upside down) so that I can show this woman my terribly ripped up, mid-sink-wall-bathroom-roof-repair home.

I wonder what she'll say about the deep trench I've dug in the front yard and partially filled with wine and beer bottles? Or the broken plates stuck to the side of the house . . .

Big Day

Today is the day that the adoption specialists. . . placement case workers . . . whatever they are called, met today to review our case. Today they decided whether or not to move forward. That's a pretty big deal, right?

We had a few other big happenings today- as of today, my mom officially owns a house in Phoenix. She bought a beautiful two bedroom house in a historic neighborhood right near my favorite ACE hardware in earshot of church bells and less than 2 miles from our house! Moreover it has a wonderful guest cottage that one of our favorite friends might rent. My mom will also rent out the "big house" until she decides she needs to live there. Of course the hope in our house is that she will end up keeping that property as a rental until she finds somewhere in our hood to live (we have a ridiculous amount of pride in our neighborhood, probably too much). So, today we got the keys and my mom is officially the owner of a "second home." I can't explain it, but it makes me so proud of my mother. I think about when I was little and am amazed at how hard my mother worked to make our lives wonderful. She's done a good job.

This afternoon, our executive director let me know that I have a new title. A new title and a new office for a new job. I'm excited not to be the only one focused on my field, I'm excited to have only one job, I'm excited to take on this new role. It feels like finding a peaceful place in my career.

Also, today we were scheduled to find out about a major shift with our credit cards, we haven't heard back on this. Fingers still crossed.

Another thing we haven't heard about yet- the adoption. She said that she probably wouldn't call until Monday (in Phoenix, most places let out early today) but I was hoping we'd hear today. Either way, I know the decision has already been made. We'll know where things are headed by next week.

If all of today's good news in any indication- we'll be fine.

The Doctor Says . . .

Things you have to do to adopt that you don't have to do if you get knocked up:

-Get a Doctor's Note-
Today Len is dropping off two signed forms, both of which say she is medically and mentally sound to adopt a child. Ok, what they actually say is that her Doctor and Counselor don't have any concerns with the idea her being an adoptive parent. Yes, bio-parents should probably go to a medical practitioner at some point before obtaining their child, but there is something very funny to me about having to get a note.

Moreover, I'm amused that Len had to get not just one note but two, and I didn't have to get one at all. If you are at all familiar with our medical histories, you too will find this laughable.

Really- it's a bigger statement on how we (the America monster) regard behavioral health care. The formula was simple and ridiculous- if you have a behavioral health care professional that you consult, you have to go collecting signatures like a truant school boy (its true, Len had to dress up in shorts and straps and carry a satchel), but if you don't ever go to "see someone" about such things--> you don't need a note!

So, the fact that I'm positively bonkers goes undocumented! Phew.

Ta-Freaking-Da!

Yep, it's been a year and now I have stuff to write about, happenings that I'd like to be recorded and shared. Granted, I'm not too keen on said details being around FOREVER in the internetaverse, but you my dear reader, family member, friend, are much too far away to read my journal. So this blog thing will have to suffice.

No update here- we're just going to start with today.
Ok, fine I'll update:
New house
Restarting the _Adoption_Process_ with the same agency.

Today is a monday- 6 days ago we had our second intake interview. (Remember this is the second time we are entering this process). It was a little nerverwrecking, these interviews can last for four hours and can include questions like "After a break up are you more likely to lean toward homicide or suicide?" and "How many gallons does your pool hold?" (each of these is very difficult in its own precious way). Luckily we had answered many of the difficult questions in our first go round. So this time the case worker (a new one!) was able to wrap it up in under 2 hours.

Len and I have no problem talking about ourselves for that long.
We both left feeling really good and super excited about, what I've come to think of as, "our pregnancy."

Next Step:
The case worker will present our family to the whole team for review and they will decide whether or not to move us forward

Prognosis:
The case worker was very optimistic, telling us it's very rare for a family not to be accepted if they already were before. So, here's hoping we're not rare.

Time Frame:
uh . . . I forgot to pay attention to that part. I think the meeting is scheduled for the week before Thanksgiving . . . that's next week, right?