This blog.

I would like this blog to follow the formula of the MHwB (Mormon Housewife Blog), as close as possible. These women seem to find great comfort in their blogs and be fulfilled by the writing of them, so I will aim for the same.

I've already broken one rule- my first blog wasn't titled "Welcome!!!" or "Our First Entry!!" or "Welcome Home ______!" (with the _____ being the name of family's first child). The entry didn't outline who we are or how happy we are to have you reading our blog. I may write that entry someday. I tend to worry about rules I've broken, I always have to go back and do them right.

I will try to stay on track with the other tenants:

1. Have you noticed the creepy "We" speak I've been using? It seems to be essential for a good MHwB to arbitrarily go back and forth between the "we" and "our" of the couple's voice, the "we" and "our" of the bigger family(not that big, "family" is still just the people who physically live in the house and are either married or derivatives of said marriage), and the "I" of the Mormon Housewife herself.
2. I have posted a picture of our wedding day, being affectionate, but not two affectionate, and showing off that the bride (in our case plural) made an effort to maintain modesty in the selection of our wedding gowns. I think this picture is also to prove that their is another adult in the family and the adults are actually married. Oh yes, AND that they are delighted to be married to one another. All of this is true for us, 10 points!
3. Use exclamation points when praising any member of the family including oneself. Got that one down!
4. When children arrive, post their pictures individually in the side bar. List their names and ages. If they happen to die, list deceased child as "Our Angel Baby" or "Our Angel Son" list their age as if they have not passed.
5. Make a list of links of your friends MHWBs. These should be close friends that you go to church with. (This one is going to be a tough one for us, the only other UU families we know are . . . I'll find something that fits the bill).
6. Update the blog weekly at least.
7. Make big announcements on the blog like "We're moving!" and "He's Getting his Liver Removed!" Reserve title "Big Announcement" for entries proclaiming your latest pregnancy.
   
8. Frequently use onomatopoeic words and (what I think of as) comic book sounds. "Ack!" " Zoom!" and "Cuckoo" are all good options.
   
9. Mention your religious beliefs in a box on the side bar.
10. Use pictures in almost every post. (Oh no! This one will be a real challenge. No reliable camera to transfer current pictures to computer. Do cellphone pictures count?)
11. Consider basic grammatic rules a suggestion develop one's own style, consisting primarily of inconsistent narrator and subject verb disagreement. Punctuation is too be used as timing cues for those who will read your blog out loud. Pronouns and nouns need not agree. And homonyms are completely interchangable.
    
12. Every few months write a deep personal disclosure entry. Something titled along the lines of "I'm Feeling Lonely Today" or "Thinking" should do the trick.
    

I'm sure as my obsession with MHWBs continues, I'll learn more of the doctrine, but for now, I can agree with each of these rules and will make a point to get underway with what I hope will be a comfortable and fulfilling hobby while the kids nap.

(SHIT! Forgot to have kids!)
(AH! NO SWEARING! ugh . . . already, this isn't going well.)